Today I will try to say few words, how we can truly come to Vrindavan. Now we are in the temple of Laksmi, in Belvan. By her example we can understand what we must, and also what we must not do in order to find ourselves in Vrindavan. This place, as you already know, is called Belvan, here happened one wonderful lila, and still here are lots of trees called bilva. Bilva is a tree with big fruits growing on there and in the other way they are also called “wooden apples”. Now it is not the season of bilva or belfruit, but it is ripened in April, when the sun’s scorching heat dwells around. This fruit is very good for cooling down internal heat. Krishna created this tree especially for this purpose, that the people who are suffering from heat, could drink the bel juice and feel refreshed from inside. And Vrindavan is the place where everything is unpredictable, here can happen any unbelievable miracle, and on one of the similar days as it is now, today, at the end of November or December, in the month of Margarshir, when it is too cold in Vrindavan, Krishna’s friends became excited about tasting a bel. It seems that inner heat of their love towards Krishna warmed them up in such a level, that they were too hot and said to Krishna: “Krishna we want bel”. By the mercy of Yamuna it is always possible to take water from there and make bel juice, as he who knows how bel is structured, he is aware that, it is very thick from inside, and it has to be liquefied. So, the cowherd boys were hot because of playing different games, and feeling sweaty they said: “Gopal can you make that bel-fruit appeared on the tree right now?”  Gopal said: Sure, I can. ☺ And His different friends were disputing between each other: “No, no He will not be able to do that. It is not right season for it now. How can the bel be ripened in December?” Others were saying: “Oh no, our Gopal will do that”. And for fun they began to come down their bets between each other: “I will give you samosa if Gopal is able to do that”. Others were saying: “I will pay for it my sweet rice – khir”.  As I know all of you have brought breakfast with you and you can now have a dispute on that – will Krishna be able to do that or not. And what happened next? Krishna began to play on His flute, He started to play a melody, which nobody had heard before. And His friends hearing this sounds, absolutely forgot that they had wanted bel. They were listening this melody and tears strung their eyes. They were listening and listening and listening. And at the same time birds were stunned, the very birds which are crying now, hearing the melody of Krishna’s flute, the trees were stunned, and then in front of everyone flowers appeared on the bilva trees, then they immediately turned into fruits, they started growing and at last they became big fruits and started falling down on the cowherd boys’ heads, who had just woken up from their trance, resulted by listening to Krishna. At this moment they were in such an extasy, that they started backslapping each other. “I told you, our Gopal can do everything”. And actually, this is the mood of Vrindavan, here all the people are proud of Gopal. And whenever Gopal is doing some mischief, they feel again that their love to Krishna became stronger, that their love to Him became purer. Their excitement and amazement became more radiant. In actuality what is love? Love is a desire to serve (bhava) together with a feeling of amazement. Just a desire to serve, still it is not love. This is some kind of preparation for love. And this is also good, but when this desire to serve is combined with the feeling of amazement towards the object of our service, when all our consciousness goes there and even we cannot take a breath because of this astonishment, and we want to do something out of this amazement to whom we love, then love becomes true love, then love will become rasa, it will transform into this incredible experience, which makes people forget everything else. People who experience even a shadow of love are forgetting everything, they are abandoning everything else. And even if Krishna comes to them and offers them liberation, their answer will be: “No, we do not want liberation”. And they will say that sincerely, not because they have to act like that, not because that it is said in Srimad-Bhagavatam that pure devotees refuse liberation, but because they cannot exchange that feeling what they already have, into something like liberation. If someone offers us liberation… For example I would think a little bit about it. ☺ and I guess I will accept it. ☺ But those people who have truly experienced even the slightest feeling of love, they will never exchange it into anything else. And we are coming here, to this place in order to experience this reflection, or shadow of love dwelling here on the ground of Vrindavan, to get, to understand and to feel even in some level what this is. 

Puranas are worshiping this place, this forest on the banks of Yamuna. And there it is said, that any human being, who comes here and takes bath in Krishna Kunda (which we are not going to do, because we are not still ready for that)… and this lila took place on the banks of Krishna Kunda not very far from here. So, in Puranas it is said, that every human being, who comes on this place and bathes in Krishna Kunda, will be worshiped on the Brahmaloka. Now I think residents of Brahmaloka will be obliged to worship… how many people? ☺ They are instantly preparing to worship all of you, gathered here. But it is not so easy. Puranas are giving us lots of promises like that, but we have to understand their essence. Other statement which are also given in Puranas are glorifying this forest and not just those who come here, but they are glorifying this forest and those who could feel this mood predominating here. Please, listen very carefully, because this is very important point. It is said in Puranas that a person who comes here even once and takes bath in Krishna Kunda, this person will without a doubt achieve the stage of love of the Lord. Hari Bol… (sounds from audience) Yes, Hari Bol! Everything is right. ☺ Someone very hesitatingly said Hari Bol, trying to assure it or measure it in himself, but let us say Hari Bol. (Stronger Hari Bol sounds again from the audience). Okey. Not everything ends here with that. Not everything is finished with that, because the essence of this statement is very simple – if a person comes here, if a person who is ready comes here, and with the strength of his readiness feels those vibrations, reigning in this place, this love which is about to start to wake up in his heart, will wake up for sure and will be ripened ultimately. If one sits here and meditates on these lilas, and for a long, long time is staring at Goddess Laksmi, who is still observing austerities here to become a participant in Krishna’s lilas, then, at some moment, love will really fill up his heart. But a person should be ready for that. Here is very simple example. Actualy it is very easy to understand this thing. Why people are going to restaurants? For enjoyment, isn’t it? And each and every person who goes to restaurant, gets some enjoyment there, is it right? Yes? If you go to a restaurant, where people are drinking and eating meat; for example, you were invited to restaurant, where some kind of festival is held and you went there, will you get any enjoyment there? No. What will be your only wish? The men are cautiously silent and the ladies are saying: “No”. Here is something suspicious. ☺ But somehow or other you will not get any pleasure out of it, I hope, and on the contrary what kind of desire will you have? To run away immediately. Why? Because your heart is not inclined to feel these emotions. But a person who wants to enjoy and goes in the restaurant, will he enjoy there? Will his spirit of enjoyment increase? Yes, it will increase, because he is ready for that. His heart is receprtive to those vibrations and because of this vibrations his spirit of enjoyment will increase more and more in his heart. Exactly like that in order to really achieve stage of love when you come on this place, first of all you have to tune up your heart. And this process may take years. In order to actually come to Vrindavan, some time has to pass: 5, 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 100, 200, 300 years, according to the fortune of a human being. Because Vrindavan is a place where Krishna lives. How do you think, are you really in Vrindavan now, or not? And have you seen Krishna here? Yes? Someone has seen, others have not. 

         On the way, when we were coming from Himalayas here, to Vrindavan, we visited Sukra Tal. Sukra Tal is the place where Sukadeva Goswami narrated Srimad-Bhagavatam to Parikshit Maharaj. And there on the main altar of this temple, under the Banyan tree, which is about 5000 years old, as per tradition Sukadeva Goswami, Vyasadev, Maharaj Parikshit are there and Krishna is standing in the middle of the altar playing His flute. And aside is another altar and on this altar together with Sukadeva Goswami is another murti of one unshaved person in a crown. We were very surprised when we saw this altar, and asked: who is this? We were thinking in our naivety, that this is another altar, where once again Maharaja Parikshit and Sukadeva Goswami are sitting, but this idea did not seem logical enough to us, and in answer pujari said, that one person was Sukadeva Goswami, as it was meant to be, and the other person was someone named Shyamcharan. And this Shyamcharan, he lived 300 years ago and he had a darshan of Shukadev Goswami three times in his lifetime. First time he got this darshan in his village when he was a little boy running and playing, and suddenly from somewhere or other he saw a tall figure, dark black person, who came to him and started petting to him on the head, gave him seat on his knee and gave him peda (sweets made with milk) and when he joyfully ate the peda, he whispered to him in the ear Hare Krishna mantra. Somehow, because of some bhakti-vasana (very strong samskara from past life) Shukadeva Goswami himself сфьу to him and gave him his darshan and Shukadeva Goswami told him: now you have to go to Vrindavan. Little, 5 years old boy stayed at home till 20 years and every day he remembered this order, which he had got from Sukadeva Goswami. Every day with tears in his eyes he remembered how Sukadeva Goswami appeared before him and unusual feelings were born in his heart. At last when he became 20 years old, he came here, in Vrindavan and he met Sukadeva Goswami again in Seva Kunja, when they met each other ones again, Sukadeva Goswami gifted him mercy to see Krishna. I am telling this story in order to explain this topic. In actuality we can enter Vrindavan, real Vrindavan only with the blessings of devotees. Because only from their heart we can get this gift, by which we will be able to see Krishna. 

premāñjana-cchurita-bhakti-vilocanena 

santaḥ sadaiva hṛdayeṣu vilokayanti 

yaṁ śyāmasundaram acintya-guṇa-svarūpaṁ

govindam ādi-puruṣaṁ tam ahaṁ bhajāmi (B.S.5.38)

Lord Brahma says, that we can see Krishna only in purified heart, only when our heart is purified, because we do not see this world through our eyes, we see the world through our heart. We see in this world only through the prism of our heart. If the prism of our heart is tuned to certain mood, we will see death in this world, we will see suffering in this world, we will see pleasure in this world, and nothing else will go through such filthy glass tuned to the enjoyments of this word. But if our heart is cleansed – yaṁ śyāmasundaram acintya-guṇa-svarūpaṁ – we will be able to see Krishna. And for it to happen, it is not enough to do something on our own, it is definitely necessary to recieve… and even this is not enough. Even if the heart is cleansed it is still not enough, this is not enough qualification to see Krishna. We definitely need to get blessings of great devotees. This Shyamasudar Charan got blessings from Sukadeva Goswami and that’s why it is not surprising, that before him appeared Krishna Himself. He saw Krishna’s rasa-lila. But I’d like to say one more very important thing about gradual process of purification of our senses. What should happen step by step in our heart so that our heart might truly enter Vrindavan, so that our heart would transform into Vrindavan itself. As Caitanya Mahaprabhu while Ratha-yatra in Jaganath Puri was pronouncing one sloka again and again: anyera hridaya man, mora man vrindavan. Other people’s heart and mind are one and the same. Each desire which appears in their mind becomes desire of their heart and they immediately start acting according to these desires, different emotions are born in them for fulfilment of these desires. But He says mora man Vrindavan – my mind is Vrindavan and that’s why you come here. Krishna Himself will come in our mind if our heart becomes Vrindavan. If our heart will be cleansed to such a level that it will become Vrindavan. 

And now I want you for a while to leave Vrindavan, but this will not be actual thing for us, because we still have not entered there, we mostly are dwelling on Loi-bazar, which is not exectly Vrindavan. Srila Prabhupada says that if we want to find ourselves in Vrindavan, we will have to follow the footsteps of? [sounds of different versions of answers from audience] – Six Goswamis, residents of Vrindavan, gopis, acaryas, Srila Prabhupada. – Srila Prabhupada says that in order to occur in Vrindavan we have to follow Akrura’s example. There in Srimad-Bhagavatam is given an example of how a person can turn out in Vrindavan and see Krishna there, and not just Krishna, but Krishna with His associates. Akrura is the only one from all the Yadavas who saw Krishna in Vrindavan, not to consider Uddhava, which happened later. Akrura was first person who saw Krishna in Vrindavan and even Uddhava could not see Krishna there, Uddhava saw His associates, he witnessed how much gopis loved Krishna, Uddhava was very lucky, but in some sense Akrura was even more fortunate. Akrura came to Vrindavan and saw Krishna, saw caws, saw Nanda Maharaja, he saw this idealistic picture of love of the residents of Vrindavan towards Krishna. And Srila Prabhupada explains Akrura’s emotional evolution, which caused all this to happen to him. And why it is so important for us to understand? Because we have much in common with Akrura. First thing which has to appear in our heart in order to really come in Vrindavan, is the strong desire, like Akrura’s, so much burning desire that we could go to any sacrifice. When all the other Yadavas ran away from Mathura with fear, when Kamsa usurped the throne of Mathura and started thretening each member of dynasty of Vrisni, because he knew that in this dynasty would be born his killer, at this very time Akrura went himself to him and said: “I will serve you with faith and sincerity”. Akrura became Kamsa’s minister, he became his counsellor only because that one day in very far future, he even did not know when, he even did not know how long time was parting him from the opportunity of meeting Krishna, but one day in the far future, he might have a chance to see Krishna. 

Srila Prabhupada and Bhaktisidhanta Sarasvati Thakura gave one and the same instruction: “Do not hurry to come to Vrindavan. You will not see anything in Vrindavan.” In order to come to Vrindavan, to feel Vrindavan, to percept what is happening here, in Vrindavan, at first you have to live with Kamsa. Not because it is possible to learn something from Kamsa. The idea which was standing behind Akrura’s this decision was very deep. He thought: “If I serve Kamsa, I will be able to serve Devaki and Vasudev, I will be able to do something for them.” Srila Prabhupada used to say to his disciples and followers: “If you want to enter Vrindavan, at first preach in Kamsa’s Kingdom.” We will not name these kingdoms of Kamsa, they are too many, for example Israel, or… it is not so important. There are so many kingdoms in this world were Kamsa’s different followers are ruling, America – definitely and many others as well. Srila Prabhupada used to say, that at first a person has to purify his desire to see Krishna by preaching Krishna’s glories or helping those devotees who live here. And for Akrura this desire became stronger and stronger and stronger, because somehow or other he could help Devaki and Vasudeva, every time when he was able to soften Kamsa’s heart, when he was able to change Kamsa’s mind seeing that he was planning some nonsense. And he was happy about it. In his heart there was this hope: “I will see Krishna, somehow or other I will see Krishna, because I have done something for His devotees.” Actually this is the desire, or logic which we should have. If we can do something for the devotees what will appear in our heart at this moment? – Joy, happiness. “I could trick him, I was lucky to make him accept my service”. ☺ Devotees they are not very simple people, if you are trying to serve them, they are running away, and those who want to serve them, it is better not to serve. But somehow or other this is primeval desire: “I want to see Krishna. I heard how beautiful Krishna is, I heard that if I just see Krishna even from my corner of an eye, I will not need anything else.” 

And then next desire which must follow with the previous one of seeing Krishna, it is: “In order to see Krishna I have to serve devotees, I have to do something for the devotees.” And not just serve them but also be very happy about it. Not just serve and think: “When? How long? Aww, I’ve served one more devotee.” ☺ No, at the moment, when I am able to do this, I have to be happy and think: “I have done one more little contribution, this means that one day it will happen.” And this is not still enough. According to the commentators, then comes Akrura’s emotions evolve while he journeys to Vrindavan. Gradual evolution from desire to see Krishna, to the joy of being able to serve devotees and to the hope that I can see Him because I deserve it, because devotees are pleased with me, because they gave me their blessings. 

The next step was that Akrura was overcome with despair. He followed his sadhana for Ekadashi night, he did not sleep that night when Kamsa ordered him to go to Vrindavan, and this was Ekadashi night. This is also very symbolic. Ekadashi is a very special day. Ekadashi is fortunate day. On this day Kamsa called Akrura and ordered him to go to Vrindavan. Akrura was thinking: “I cannot believe that it really happens! I’ve aspired for it for so long!” Whole night long he was chanting, all night he was thinking about Krishna. And when he was approaching Vrindavan suddenly despair struck him. He was thinking: “It cannot happen, it will not happen to me, there are so many sins on me, so many sinful desires are still living in my heart. I will not be able to see Krishna. I will never see Krishna.” Does it happen sometimes to you? Yes, it does. Again, matajis mainly agree. ☺ And men of course they are pure, sinless, everything is okey with them. ☺ If this humility appears in our heart, this is the next step. Actually, it is an important thing. A person has to purify his heart. When the heart is purified, when happiness of serving devotees occupied its honorable place there, next thing which we can do is to actually exemine ourselves objectively: “Have I deserved it? Will it happen to me ever or not? Is there anything in my heart hampering me to see Him?” And this humility in our heart is the next step in our spiritual evolution. And our intelligence will not be awakened until the moment when the true humility be born in our heart. Acaryas are explaining, that the next thing which happens to a person, is that his intelligence becomes very clear. Clear intelligence is the result of humility. Without humility intelligence cannot be truly clear. Until we have pride, until we think that, we are the best: “Everyone has to worship me. It is impossible that nobody can notice, that I am the best. Why nobody can understand this? How come nobody is serving me, in spite of the fact that it is said, that pure devotee has to be served. Definitely they have learnt sastras in a wrong way, that is why they have not still understood who I am.” Until a person keeps all these nonsense ideas in his head, pure intelligence will not exist for him, he will not be able to understand sastra, he will not be able to understand Krishna, he will not be able to understand anything. 

That’s why the next thing, or the next emotion which you have to kindle in yourself, at the very moment when this humility appears in your heart, suddenly, notwithstanding anything, please, do try to kindle it, try to understand that actually there are reasons for me to be humble. That this amotion is not at all causeless in my case, that there are enough reasons for me to be humble. The next thing which appeared in Akrura’s heart, as acaryas are commenting, was mati – pure intelligence, and he started thinking: but Putana also was not that much pious, not to say anything about Ajamila and nevertheless Krishna gave them Krishna bhakti. This is the next thing, please do not accept such things very cheaply, because examples of Putana and Ajamila and other examples are given in the sastras in order to engrave in our heart, so that there would not stay any doubts that Krishna, in spite of everything, is much more kind than all the sins, which we have committed. There is no sin which will overbalance Krishna’s mercy. 

This is the next emotion which entered Akrura’s heart and this is very important, its name is asha-bandha – unbreakable, uninterrupted, unexhausted hope: “Maybe not now, maybe in the future, but I will see Krishna, I will see Krishna… I will see Krishna.” Again, this is not something fictional or intellectual. This is not a feeling which comes from intellectual contemplations: “Yes, it is said, that Putana also achieved krisna-bhakti, which means that I can relax. Somehow or other, with Putana we have everything okey. She is in Vrindavan, I am also in Vrindavan, Hare Krishna!” ☺ No, here is different thing, here we talk about different thing. After mati comes dhriti, and dhriti means absolutely unbreakable confidence: “Regardless of anything, anyway I will be able to approach Krishna, I will be able to see Krishna, I will be able to fall in love with Krishna.” And as I already have told you, this is gradual spiritual evolution. And what is happening next, can anyone answer this question? 

What kind of thought comes in one’s heart who is gradually going in Vrindavan, in real Vrindavan? Does anyone know? [Answers from the audience] Bright intelligence, determination, humility – when they all mix together with purified desire which is very strong and deep and has been ripening in our heart for many, many years of preaching activities, afterwards this wonderful feeling emerges in a person’s heart. Suddenly he observes all his life and understands: “All my life has been a journey to Krishna.” At this moment Akrura suddenly understood: “Kamsa helped me to come in Vrindavan!” At this moment a person understands: “All the worst happenings in my life, which I considered to be bad, which I cursed, misfortune which happened to me actually helped me to come in Vrindavan, actully they were pushing me to Vrindavan.” When a person understands this, he becomes filled with incredible happiness, and he understands: “Krishna was always with me, Krishna was guiding me all this time even when I thought, that He had turned away from me, even when it seemed to me, that He had forgotten me, actually He was there with me, He was pushing me, helping me to become closer to Him.” This is next emotion or feeling which comes in the heart of a person –  he starts to see his whole life and understands: “Krishna is guiding me.” 

In such moments something more happens, then he suddenly sees Krishna everywhere, he understands, that Krishna is guiding everyone. Yesterday I was told one history about a person who had such realization for a moment. One mataji told me this. She suddenly realized how Krishna is standing behind everything. Sometimes it happens, and this wonderful feeling comes into our heart and suddenly we stop seeing the world as we used to see it before and we are able to notice the only reason of all reasons standing behind everything – the Lord without whose permission even grass cannot move. This is aisvarya-jnan, or awareness of God’s omnipotence enters a person’s heart, he starts thinking not theoretically. Now we know about it theoretically, but we are talking now about something different, when a person emotionally understands: “The Lord is everywhere, He already is guiding me, neither grass will move nor hair will fall dawn from one’s head, even from bald person’s head ☺ without Krishna’s permission. Everything can happen, Krishna is already standing behind everything, He already is guiding me towards Him.” This is the next feeling which emerges in one’s heart. And while Akrura by the mercy of Vrindavan was immersed in these thoughts, his chariot crossed the borders of Vrindavan and Akrura started to think about residents of Vrindavan, about Krishna, about how much they loved each other. There is difference how we think about Krishna and the inhabitants of Vrindavan and how they love each other, and how Akrura started thinking about it. This wonderful happy picture of love entered his heart and celebration started there. This is incredible, it is incredible how beautiful is the Lord and how much the inhabitants of Vrindavan love Him. This is very important lesson because actually a person can understand or feel taste of madhurya or true love of Krishna, madhurya-jnan after he experiences aisvarya-jnan, after Krishna’s omnipotence filled his heart, he understood that Krishna is the Lord. 

All of these stages of our evolution are very important, and it’s important to go forward because at this moment you have to stop being “Akrura”. And this is what Akrura could not do. Akrura occurred in Vrindavan, Akrura saw Krishna, Akrura saw the gopis and then he thought: “I have to take Krishna from Vrindavan to where? to Mathura, or to Moscow, I will buy Krishna in Loi-bazar and I will take Him to Moscow.” And this is the most important lesson from this place. Actually, all the stages of this gradual evolution, which I have described, each of them is very important lessons. But the particular lesson of this place is that a person who has felt this sweetness of Krishna but remained in his state of consciousness, he will never be able to enter Krishna’s lilas. And Goddess Laksmi is an example of this. Do we still have time? Yes (answer from audience). You aren’t still hungry? – No. – This is very important thing. Let’s try to really immerse in this place with the hope that Krishna will be pleased with our endeavor. 

What is happening during the process of sadhana? Our consciousness is always trying to come back again on the surface of our external condition. We are always trying this. It is like a plastic float. We are saying: “I want to Krishna!” The mind says: “I do not want, I do not want.” Mind always brings something from somewhere and wants to dwell in it. That’s why sadhana is our endeavor to please Krishna. Sadhana is our systematic practice, when we are consciously doing something with the hope that Krishna will be pleased with us. We consciously link our endeavor with Krishna’s pleasure. We are saying: Krishna it is hard for me, it is difficult for me, but somehow or other I am trying. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare. And while pronouncing one mantra, our mind travelled in Moscow five times and came back from there again, or in Kiev, or in Tel Aviv, or somewhere else. But the main thing is that it came back again. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare… “And this dream in my heart: “Krishna, please kindly notice my desire. I am doing it for you.” People are thinking: why I am chanting Mantra, I am not feeling any satisfaction. Very often people are waiting when this satisfaction will come, Srila Prabhupada promised us: “Chant the mantra and be happy!” Hare Krishna! Where is happiness? No happiness, 16 rounds of suffering, for two hours, with tears in my eyes, but if in spite of this, I feel from inside that I am doing it for Krishna not for getting satisfaction for only myself, but I am doing it for Krishna to be pleased with me, with my attempts, In some moment what kind of miracle will happen. Suddenly we will forget about time, we will forget who we are, then all these things will fade out and we will start chanting: Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare, Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare. This miracle has to happen and when we are hearing something about Vrindavan here in this place, or in other places of Vrindavan also, we are doing exactly that. I am hearing and I am making my endeavor to feel what is really happening here. Again, our heart is not tuned in such a way that we could understand all these vibrations. Our consciousness habituated to accept some other vibrations, vibrations from Internet. Do you have wi-fi, all of you? Can you manage to live your life without wi-fi? We all have wi-fi. But we still do not have this very wi-fi, which will receive krishna-prema network, exclusive wave of krishna-prema. But if we do endeavor, if we try to serve devotees here, if we try somehow or other to take endeavors to purify our heart, I promise, at some point you will feel love. But it will not happen very soon. At first you need to endeavor little bit more. We have to pass particular way for this. 

Let us try to think what is happening here in this particular place. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu narrated this lila to Vyenkata Bhatta, in Shrirangam. I will try to tell you how it was, because there are also many deep lessons. In Padma-Purana there is given one story telling us how one day Laksmi heard from Narada Muni about the beauty of Krishna. We know that Narada Muni has special character, sometimes he bewilders people. It is not withour reason that in Vrindavan he has a form of Madhu Mangal, who is a big playful boy. So Narada Muni has special sense of humor. And one day, as if nothing, Narada Muni went to Lord Narayana on Vaikuntha and started saying these words: “Oh, Narayana it’s so good here on Vaikuntha, everything is so beautiful and luxurious, all these palaces and everything, but recently I was in Vrindavan”… and then from Narada Muni’s mouth poured out the song, describing how beautiful Vrindavan is, and how beautiful Krishna in Vrindavan is, how much everyone loves Him there. Laksmi Devi, she was listening attentively, she looked at Narayana from the corner of her eye and thought: “I wish I could see Krishna.” And Narada did not stop there, Narada started to describe Rasa dance. Narada started to talk how Krishna is dancing, how Krishna is playing on His flute, how Krishna is singing and gopis are following Him, how their ankle-bells are sounding and how nothing can be compared to that. And Laksmi started thinking: “How long I have been living with Narayana and we even have never danced.” Sometimes it happens. You live with someone for long time and think what is that? People live like people and everything is good with them and we are here on the throne… So Narada Muni achieved the desired target. This aspiration was born In Laksmi Devi’s heart: “I want to see Krishna.” She came here and started to observe severe austerities. 

And very few people know about it. This temple is visited very seldom. Pujari is very excited about so many people coming here today. In local sthala-purana it is said that Laksmi is still here. We cannot see her, but she is here. We can see her murti , and still, she is being offered here only kichri. But somehow or other, Krishna appeared before her and asked: “What do you want?” She said: “I want to dance with You.” Krishna said: “I am a cowherd boy and how can it be that Goddess of fortune wishes to dance with a cowherd boy?” She said: “No, You cannot cheat me. You are not any kind of cowherd boy, you are Narayana, just You have accepted this form of a cowherd boy.” In answer Krishna said: “So if I am Narayana and you are Laksmi, there is no problem, join him on Vaikuntha.” She said: “But Narayana does not dance!” Then Krishna said: “Okey, it means that you have to become a cowherd girl.” Laksmi started thinking. She asked Krishna: “What does it mean?” – “At first you will have to change your sari.” Can you even imagine what kind of sari is worn by Goddess of fortune, Laksmi? Mataji who is getting married is wearing this red sari, with precious stones, and on Vaikuntha even cloth for polishing floors is better than that. Laksmi is sitting in her sari, Krishna is saying: “You will have to change your sari.” I hope you will appreciate this sacrifice on which she went, in answer she said: “I agree.” ☺ Krishna continued: “ This is not everything.”  She asked: “What else?” – “Well, you will have to learn how to make patties from the cow dung, and the other things as well.” Laksmi looked at her soft hands, she continued thinking more seriously and said: “I agree.” And Krishna says: “This is not everything.” – “What else!?” – “You will have to get married to another person.” – “No, never!” Krishna said: “Then you will have to stay here.” 

Actually, the essence of this story is very deep. As I already said Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu explained it to Vyenkatha Bhatta. Please, listen very carefully because there is given very deep lesson for us as well. In this dialogue between Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Vyenkatha Bhatta which is described by Krishnadasa Kaviraja Goswami in the 9^th chapter of Madhya-lila of Caitanya-caritamrita, Sri Caitanya is indirectly explaining what a person has to do after he understands the nature of the Lord and understands that the highest form of the Lord, the supreme manifestation of the Lord is Krishna. There all these issues are not given very clearly, but if you listen very attentively and read this chapter – I really ask you, please do read it when you will have free time from Loi-bazar – then you will get very important understanding which will ebentually take you very far and very high. 

We know that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu while travelling in South India went down to Sri Rangam, and this was another destination after he met Ramananda Roy on the banks of Godavari. There was held this conversation between Caitanya Mahaprabhu and Ramananda Roy, where Ramananda Roy disclosed to Him the sacramental details of krishna-bhajan. And we all know a very important principle, for deeper understanding of what we have listened from someone else. What we have to do for it? We have to tell others about it. That’s why Caitanya Mahaprabhu after listening very important things from the lips of Ramananda Roy, almost literally, not absolutely literally of course, but some part of that He repeated precisely to Vyenkata Bhatta. This is very important moment and very important principle which we have to know very well. 

When He went to Vyenkata Bhatta, who invited Him at his place for dinner and asked Him to stay with him while rainy season, during four months, and Caitanya Mahaprabhu agreed and stayed at his house during this period. At the beginning there was no close relationship between them. They were far from each other because of their difference. Vyenkata Bhatta was a reputable brahmana and the chief pujari in the temple of Ranganath, follower of Ramanuja, habituated to serve Ranganath with great opulence and splendour. In the temple of Ranganath beside Ranganath there is separate altar of Ranganayaka. There is Ranganatha and there is Ranganaiaka – Laksmi. And Caitanya Mahaprabhu was very young sanyasi he was just 25 years old, very beautiful, dressed in mayavadi attire. In the beginning, Vyenkatha Bhatta felt some kind of attraction towards Him but the relationship was still quite in distance. From the very beginning Caitanya Mahaprabhu made friends with his son (or nephew) Gopal. Vyenkata Bhatta ordered his nephew to serve Him. And Gopal being a little innocent boy he came very close to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. He helped Him every day, carried Him kamandalu (water pot), washed His cloths, served Him prasadam, but after some time, Caitanya Mahaprabhu became closer to Vyenkata Bhata and started joking with him. At some moment, and this story is described in Caitanya-caritamrita, Caitanya Mahaprabhu said: “Vyenkata Bhatta, listen to me, you have been worshiping Laksmi for all your lifetime.” And how is Ramanuja sampradaya called? Sri Sampradaya, isn’t it? This is sampradaya of Sri or Laksmi. Laksmi is the original guru of this sampradaya. And Caitanya Mahaprabhu at some moment says: “Oh yes, your Laksmi, the primeval guru of your sampradaya, who you are worshiping as an original master, do you know what she is doing in Vrindavan?” – “What is she doing in Vrindavan?” – “She is observing austerities”. Vyenkata Bhatta said: “This cannot be. How can you prove it? Where is the evidence?” Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu smiled and said: “It is unbelievable, have you ever read Srimad-Bhagavattam?” Where is described in Srimad-Bhagavatam? Haven’t you have ever read Srimad-bhagavatam? Who says in Srimad-Bhagavatam that Laksmi is doing austerities? Answer from audience: Srila Prabhupada in purport. – Good trick. ☺ 

kasyānubhāvo ’sya na deva vidmahe
tavāṅghri-reṇu-sparaśādhikāraḥ
yad-vāñchayā śrīr lalanācarat tapo
vihāya kāmān su-ciraṁ dhṛta-vratā 

(S.B. 10.16.36)

The fundamental idea of this verse which is pronounced by the wives of Kaliya – they are saying, “How fortunate this beast is!” Kasyānubhāvo ’sya na deva vidmahe – “O Lord, we do not know, what he has done, what kind of pious activities he has done: kasyānubhāvo ’sya na deva vidmahe, tavāṅghri-reṇu-sparaśādhikāraḥ – that he deserved the dust from Your lotus feet on his heads, which [dust] even Laksmi still couldn’t deserve. Laksmi Devi has been observing austerities for so long and she hasn’t still deserved it, and Kaliya deserved, please, tell us what has he done for this.” Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu quoted this verse to Vyenkata Bhatta and Vyenkata Bhatta was very surprised. Vyenkata Bhatta said: “I have read Srimad-Bhagavatam so many times and this verse went on its way far from me”. Again, this is very important thing, maybe even if we read Srimad-Bhagavatam, we cannot notice something which we are not still ready to see and understand. That’s why Srimad-Bhagavatam has to be heard, from a person who knows Srimad-Bhagavatam and who is qualified to explain emotional content of Srimad-Bhagavatam. And Sri Caitanya continued: “What does it mean, that your chaste Laksmi left Narayana alone and went away from Him for dancing with Krishna?” Vyenkata Bhatta started to speak: “You are unreasonably laughing at my Goddess, as Narayana and Krishna are one and the same. There is no difference between Narayana and Krishna and what is wrong or stupid, if Laksmi went for seeing how her spouse is dancing?” Hearing that Caitanya Mahaprabhu smiled and said: “Yes, I can understand, that nothing wrong is here. Of course, naturally she did not break her chastity, coming here to Vrindavan, because Krishna and Narayana they are one and the same.” 

Vyenkata Bhatta recited a verse from Bhakti-rasamrita-sindhu – who knows from where he knew this verse from Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu. But Srila Prabhupada is explaining that, actually these verses which are given in Bhakti-rasamrta-sindhu by Srila Rupa Goswami, were also known earlier, they were famous between Vaishnavas. They were saying that Krishna and Narayana are one and the same in the sense of siddhanta, difference is only in rasa. As Srila Prabhupada is translating this verse, Krishna is much playful than Narayana. Translating this word in accordance with the viewpoint of rasa, Srila Prabhupada says very interestingly: Krishna is just playful, Krishna is just playful manifestation of Narayana. Vyenkata Bhatta countered Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s first challenge very easily and he said: “What is wrong here? What is strange here? She did not break her chastity when she went to see Narayana.” Caitanya Mahaprabhu was very skilled in logic and it was not easy to defeat Him in disputes. So, in answer Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu smiled and said: “I do not mean that it is wrong that she went to see Krishna in Vrindavan, I mean, that problem is the fact, that she came there and still couldn’t see Krishna, that she in spite of her eagerness to become a participant in Rasa dance, she was not succeed.”. Hearing that Vyenkata Bhatta was surprised again and he said: “How can it be? Why are you claiming this?” And Caitanya Mahaprabhu cited another verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam. And which verse did he quote? 

nāyaṁ śriyo ’ṅga u nitānta-rateḥ prasādaḥ
svar-yoṣitāṁ nalina-gandha-rucāṁ kuto ’nyāḥ
rāsotsave ’sya bhuja-daṇḍa-gṛhīta-kaṇṭha-
labdhāśiṣāṁ ya udagād vraja-sundarīṇām 

(S.B. 10.47.60)

The next verse which he quoted was Uddhava’s prayer to the gopis, where it is said that even Laksmi Devi couldn’t deserve such mercy as the gopis deserved. Nāyaṁ śriyo ’ṅga u nitānta-rateḥ prasādaḥ -– that prasad, that mercy which the gopis attained, Laksmi didn’t attain. And why? Because it is said that Krishna was holding His hands on their neck and was praying to them: “Please, stay with Me.” Our acaryas are explaining, that when someone is holding hands on another person’s neck, when a baby is gripping his hands on his father’s neck how will this continue? “Father, please give me something.” Similarly, Krishna was holding the gopis on their neck, He was begging them: “Please, do not be angry with Me. I abandoned you during the Rasa dance, but I came back to you. Please do not leave me alone!” 

And in this verse Uddhava is saying: even Laksmi couldn’t deserve it – śriyo ’ṅga u nitānta-rateḥ prasādaḥ, not to say anything about others, not to say anything about common women of this world, not to say anything about the demsels of heavenly planets who are spreading around the aroma of lotus flower. And Caitanya Mahaprabhu quoted this verse and asked Vyenkata Bhatta: “Vyenkatta Bhatta, why Laksmi couldn’t occur with Krishna? Why Laksmi did not get this mercy?” Do you know what is the answer? Vyenkata Bhatta said: “This I do not know. You are the Lord and You know better.” He said literally like that: “You are the Supreme Personality of Godhead and You know better why You are doing that, and why You do not.” 

At this moment Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu started to explain. Please, listen very carefully, this is very important point. We will stop here and will continue our talk on Man-Sarover, because logically it will lead us to Man-Sarovar, if we understand this thing. Vyenkata Bhatta answering this question to Caitanya Mahaprabhu, why Laksmi Devi couldn’t take part in Rasa dance, why she is still doing austerities. If you come here, pujari will give you kichri, she eats kichri here every time, only kichri, nothing else, she doesn’t eat even sweets. This is her austerity. You can have this kichri for the breakfast, which will be given to you here. For doing a little austerity, you will be given here one spoon of kichri. Why? Why? Why? Because she actually was not eager to become gopi. Because this burning desire was not born in her heart. Caitanya Mahaprabhu in this moment quoted the verse, which is uttered by the personified Vedas and please, listen very carefully. He recited another verse from Srimad-Bhagavatam, very famous verse: nayam sukhapa bhagavan… Bhagavana dehina devaki-suta, that it is very easy to achieve Bhagavan, but He cannot be achieved by the people who have aisvarya-jnan. What is the month now? Karttika – in the month of Karttika which song we are singing? – Damodarashtakam. And in which place is this topic mentioned in Damodarashtakam? 

itīdṛk-sva-līlābhir ānanda-kuṇḍe sva-ghoṣaṁ nimajjantam ākhyāpayantam 

tadīyeśita-jñeṣu bhaktair jitatvaṁ punaḥ prematas taṁ śatāvṛtti vande. 

Caitanya Mahaprabhu did not recite this verse, but the words which He said meant literally this. Satyavrata Muni says in this verse, that Krishna is ready to give Himself to those people who are treating Him as their intimate person. Who do not have aisvarya-jnan: tadīyeśita-jñeṣu bhaktair jitatvaṁ punaḥ prematas taṁ śatāvṛtti vande. But those people who keep in themselves this attachment, who do not want to give up this aisvarya-jnan, who are maintaining in themselves this conception that the Lord is omnipotent, that the Lord can help me somehow or other… 

Who wants God who is not all-powerful? One poet very sincerely expressed this: “What kind of God if He helped not!?” Why we need God? We need Him to help us. And one who cannot give up this conception, will never be able to acquire the mercy which Krishna is showering in Vrindavan. Quoting the verse from the prayers of personified Vedas Caitanya Mahaprabhu said exactly that. He said that in the beginning the personified Vedas were addressing Krishna in the mood of gopis. The personified Vedas are the sages who manifested Upanishads in this world. In the beginning they were meditating on Krishna in the mood of gopis. But it was not enough. Srila Prabhupada says that, their first attempt to enter Vrindavan was unsuccessful. And here we are connecting two parts of our talk together in order for everything to be clarified. Please listen, this is very important thing. 

I talked about Akrura, on the way to Vrindavan at one moment he started meditation on Krishna. In the mood of the residents of Vrindavan, he saw Krishna, he saw the residents of Vrindavan, suddenly the shade of love of Krishna in madhurya-bhava emerged in his heart, but He did not take the next step which was to be done. Srila Prabhupada in the 9^th chapter of Madhya-lila of Caitanya-caritmrita, is saying that the first attempt of the sages (personified Vedas) to attain Krishna was unsuccessful although they had been meditating on Krishna’s lila in the mood of residents of Vrindavan for a long time. They could approach Krishna only on the second attempt. And when? When they were born here, in Vrindavan. That meditation on this lila is not enough, because maybe we are already meditating on this lila but still we may have the remnants of purusa-abhiman: “I am the chief, I am the best”, even the dint of pride, such as: “Look what I am doing! I am meditating on this lila!” 

Srila Prabhupada is saying one important thing in the purport on this verse: naiam sukhapa bhagavan. Srila Prabhupada says: only the person who was able to completely immerse in this type of devotional service, may get the mercy – an opportunity of intimate relationship with Krishna, which Laksmi could not get because of her abhiman: “I am extraordinary”, because she still had this aisvarya-jnan. Srila Prbhupada writes there very precise, wonderful thing, very strict thing, he says: “It is not enough just to meditate on Krishna even in a right mood, it is important to become a resident of Vrindavan, to accept the mood of activities of the inhabitants of Vrindavan, serve Krishna in the mood of residents of Vrindavan and not just meditate.” And yes, Caitanya Mahaprabhu gave this example to Vyenkata Bhatta, He says, “This is possible to do, you will be able to come to Vrindavan, if you pass all this path from the beginning till the end. If eventually you give up this attachment to aisvarya-jnan, attachment to this opulent form of the Lord. 

The history doesn’t say what happened to Vyenkata Bhatta next, but we know, that his nephew Gopal Bhatta Goswami came here, to Vrindavan. He did not have this abhiman at all. In other words, if we want to come close to Krishna, we have to become like a white sheet of paper, we have to become absolutely nobody and nothing. Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura commenting on the verse trinad api sunichena taror api sahishnuna amanina manadena… says that our ego should become less than ego of the grass. Ordinarily we say, that we have to be as humble as the grass, but actually in this verse it is said, that we have to be even humbler than a blade of grass. The grass is being trampled upon all the time… I am afraid even imagining what will happen if someone occasionally steps on you, even not on the head, but just on your foot, and Bhaktivinoda Thakura says, that we mustn’t have the ego even of the grass. 

If in this mood we chant holy name, here in Vrindavan, Krishna will appear before us very soon 

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare,
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare

That’s why is Gopal Bhatta Goswami is an opposite example. Gopal Bhatta Goswami gave up everything – his auspicious provenance of a Brahman, as the son of the chief pujari of Srirangam, He came here and became here nobody and nothing and acquired everything. As Radha-raman Himself, Krishna Himself came to him, Krishna Himself appeared before him, because he recieved the right attitude and right service mood from Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, such service mood which is truly opening Vrindavan and gives us opportunity to see Krishna face to face, only this mood will give us opportunity to see Krishna face to face. 

Akrura came here in Vrindavan, Akrura saw Krishna, and what did he do? He went away from Vrindavan not to come back here anymore. Moreover he had to leave even Dwaraka, because he had commited an offence towards the residents of Vrindavan. If we want to actually come here and stay here, in Vrindavan, stay in Vrindavan forever, we have to know these lessons very nicely which Laksmi Devi is also teaching us here, in Belvan. She still cannot swim over Yamuna and occur there, till now she is dreaming somehow or other to enter this forest of Vrindavan on the other side of Yamuna, because she could not do this last step – to completely give up, to become absolutely nobody and nothing and for only serving Krishna to give up everything as the cowherd girls of Vrindavan did, and to leave everything back. 

This is a little talk about what we have to learn from this place. This burning desire to really occur here in Vrindavan one day, and understanding of what sacrifice we have to go for tha., How we have to pass step by step this way – not to harry up to come in Vrindvan too early, but to give our desire time to ripen in our heart, and at last to turn it into real raga that will burn all other desires in our heart. And if we do everything that Krishna will not be able to refuse appearing before us, He will say: “Did you call me? Here I am.” And at this moment we will say: “No Krishna, I am busy now!”  No, we will not say that when it will be right time, but now we will say, and that’s why, He is not hurrying up to come. 

So that’s it, thank you very much. (Hari Bol sounds from audience). The thing is not about Hari Bol, the thing is to feel this, to come close to Laksmi and pray to her for her mercy, pray her for blessings. Everyone wants blessings from the Goddess Laksmi, isn’t it? Pray to her for a benediction so that you be able to accomplish what she could not, some day. Krishna is also here, and may He also bless you.

Thank you very much.